burnumd

Here's the take from 2009's Bloomington Egg Scramble. As with last year's post, they are ranked in increasing order of awesomeitude:

a crapton of candy,
(5) free Small Shakes from Rally's,
(1) $5 gift certificate from the Scholar's Inn Bakehouse,
(1) free combo meal from Bloomington Sandwich Co,
(1) free game of bowling (Sunday - Thursday) at Classic Lanes,
(3) free games of bowling at Suburban Lanes,
(2) $5 Mad Mushroom Pizza gift certificates,
(6) Bloomington Bagel Co. bagel tokens,
(1) burritos for four at Chipotle,
(1) $20 gift certificate to Malibu Grill,
(1) $10 gift certificate to Butler Winery,
(1) One free month at the Iron Pit Gym,

and for the first time ever, we won one of the golden egg prizes:
(1) $300 gift certificate for free tires at Hoosier Tire & Retread.

Again, totes worth $16.

Fact: Tory Foster from Battlestar Galactica is actually Tori Scott from Saved by the Bell, millions of years in the future.

Exhibit A: Tory was brought on to replace a more popular character when contract negotiations went south, just like Tori.

Exhibit B: Everyone got real buddy-buddy with as though Tory had always been around even when she clearly had not, and for the span of about two episodes had to pretend like they were close friends even though we'd never seen her before ever, just like Tori.

Exhibit C: Tory doesn't really get any character development besides doing it with one of the established characters, just like Tori.

Things to look for in the second half of the fourth season of BSG:
1. Tory reveals a fear of earthquakes, just like Tori.
2. Tory will teach us all a valuable lesson about piloting vehicles while drunk, just like Tori.
3. Tory will not be invited to Adama and Roslin's wedding even though THEY ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS.
4. In the final episode of the season, Tori will be killed by Billy, who it turns out is the final Cylon, just like how Jessie and Kelly brutally murdered Tori in "Graduation."

WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS WHO CAME UP WITH THIS?

1 Arthur Murray Dance gift certificate
1 Free burrito/burrito bowl/salad/taco order from Chipotle
1 Chocolate Moose small ice cream cone
1 Scotty's $5 off $25
1 Free combo @ Cereal Barn
1 Buy one get one 50% off @ Pita Pit
1 Free Supercuts haircut
1 Tire Barn tire rotation
1 Gross chocolate toffee thing
2 Krackels
2 Mr. Goodbars
2 Hershey's (one milk chocolate, one Special Dark)
2 Things of lip balm from Winters Associates
3 Nestlé eggs (2 caramel, 1 Butterfinger)
4 Dubble Bubble
4 BBC Bagel Nickels
6 Games of bowling at Suburban Lanes
11 $1 off Bloomingfoods meals that expire on the 15th of April.

Totals:
Eggs: 45
Candy: 14
Coupons I will never use: 14

So, not bad. Not great, but it can't be laser tag parties every year.

So, since I've been handing out my resumé a bunch in an attempt to lure women into sleeping with me get an internship, I decided to think like a prospective employer and Google myself. I'd like to have it known that no less than the Old Gray Lady herself has a profile on me.

P.S. Should any prospective employer read this post, it should be mentioned that I have not misspelled any of the curse words I use.

So, inspired by Kelly's post last week, I decided to write a little bit about what I picked up at Ye Olde Comicke Booke Shopperie.

In the order I read them:
Y: The Last Man #60:
So, the final issue is more of an epilogue (everyone dies) to the story. I liked that we find out a little backstory on many of the characters, and it finally does feel like a closure to what is, on the whole, one of the better monthlies available. Y began as I started reading comics again, and was one of the first things I read that wasn't Transformers or X-Men (which actually stopped me reading comics the last time), and it's sad to see that it's ending, but at the same time, it really needs to end now. That said, Brian Vaughn really does love him some lesbos.

Jack of Fables #19:
This series is growing on me. They're beginning to explore concepts hinted at by the conceit of Fables. The usual problem I have with stories of this sort (Tom Stoppard, I'm looking at you), is that it's usually a big 'ol, "HEY, YOU GUYS!! I KNOW ABOUT ENGLISH LITERATURE!! SRSLY, YOU GUYS!!" and provides these little knowing winks to anyone who has read a book, ever. Fables and Jack of Fables don't really bother with that. Characters from literature show up, you get their name, and we are simply expected either know who they are, not care who they are, or be inspired to go and look up who they are. This book knows its audience and gets more and more things right each month.

Black Summer #5:
First things: the art in Black Summer is incredible and awful. This book seriously benefits from the lavish, gruesome detail it has received. My opinion on the writing of this book is biased by the fact that I subscribe to Warren Ellis' INCREDIBLY PROLIFIC LJ FEED. He's a great writer (like a less crazy, more funny Alan Moore), but yes, I get it: science is both good and bad. The first issue of Black Summer was phenomenal, and the rest have just been okay.

Project Superpowers #0:
Yes, another "Why do people decide to put on spandex and fight evil?" book. This time by Alex Ross. And an issue 0 to boot. It's okay. The conceit lends itself to an ongoing series well, even if it is a bit Pokémon-ish. It's okay, not great. Probably won't read again.

Stoled from Tavie.

I am pretty sure Hasbro came out with the Robot Heroes line solely for the purpose of taking pictures of the cuteified version of Ravage.
( Pictures of robot pussy )

The bun is enticing the wiener to jump inside him. Yes.

I tried to play the word "Fece" in an online Scrabble game, hoping against hope it was maybe an actual word.  Turns out it isn't.  Turns out, "Feces" (or "Faeces") is what is known as a plurale tantum.  By the way, the Wikipedia article on feces (and the other article on, specifically, human feces)is entirely too comprehensive.

As the zombie war winds down and money becomes useful again, our world is inexorably changed.  For posterity's sake, here are a few reviews from Amazon.com culled from the days following the power returning:

Corona Clipper Hollow Back #2 Round Point Shovel with Fiberglass Handle #SS 65020

Spotlight Reviews

6 of 7 people found this review helpful:

[4 stars] GREAT PRODUCT, WOULD RECOMMEND

by R. "Regmeister26" Kulick (USA)
::real name::

I love this shovel.  It's got great reach, and the fiberglass handle has never broken on me, which is helpful in keeping me from being exposed to the disease.  The 14-gauge steel blade goes a great way towards full decapitation of a zombie, and I would have to say my only complaint is that the blade doesn't come pre-sharpened and (as of this writing) finding a pedal-powered sharpener on Amazon is difficult at best.  A great product with few drawbacks.



Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions (Dover Thrift Editions) (Paperback)
by Edwin A. Abbott (Author)

Spotlight Reviews

26 of 35 people found this review helpful:

[2 stars] Too short, some nice symbolism.
by "Dr." Aaron Rogers (USA)

Edwin Abbot's political and mathematical satire is an excellent reead.  This novel will change the way you view the world.  Some people may not grasp the subtle jabs at Victorian society, but if you're capable of picking up on the mind-blowing and revolutionary views of Mr. Abbot, you'll definitely enjoy it.  Unfortunately, this edition of the book has only 96 pages, and will not burn long enough to keep you warm even for one night.





Spotlight Reviews

0 of 2 people found this review helpful:

[0 stars] Butts
by A. "BUTTS!" Butt (USA)
::real name::


BUTT!!!!!!1!!11!

When the weirdos come out of the woodwork to post comments on year old blog entries to prove that while they're great at spelling, including all of the words necessary to make a sentence, not so much.   That's right, it's spelling bee time and, again, it's on like Anqi Dong.  The rounds leading up to the finals have been going on yesterday and today, so let's find out where my picks from last year are and rank them based on TOTALLY circumspect evidence:

Tia Thomas: Even though this year's profile picture is a washed out mess, she got profiled on Good Morning America, which means they have a vested interest in seeing her go far.  If you know what I'm saying.  I'm saying Robin Roberts is going to crack some kneecaps.
Odds: 3:2.

Lina "aquaintance of nutjobs" Bader: This year's profile pic is much clearer than last years, and she appears to have an army of seventh-graders willing to post anonymous comments on my blog, which is a bad sign.  I think this is her last eligible year, so she's got that going for her.  How about a deal, Bader's Brigade?  If Lina Bader makes it to the finals and sniffs her hands Sealfon-style in the first round tonight, I'll take that as a sign that you're actually friends with her and will adjust my rating accordingly.
Current odds: 100,000:1.

Anqi Dong: A lot of the canadian kids got wasted in the fourth round, but the Donger made it through.  I'm going to continue to hope that we have a national spelling bee champion from Saskatoon named Anqi Dong for as long as possible.
Odds: 2:1.

2007 Wendy Gueh Memorial Mogwai Award: this lazy-eyed cutie muffin: Rosa Nguyen.  Odds someone will feed her after midnight: 5:3.

I can't give out a Crazy-McCuckoopants award just yet.  There's a lot of scary looking kids in this year's field.  We'll see how it goes.

So I was buying Easter candy on clearance Monday (like you do), and came across a candy that cried out to me "I'm novel, and I'm 30% off!"  Which is definitely enough to get to buy just about anything.  Full story with pictures after the cut.

I feel the need to apologize to anyone I have ever played any game with, ever.

Um, this?  Badly.  Because hamster balls are awesome, and someone needs to stage a live-action Super Monkey Ball extravaganza.

Cooking Mama comes out tomorrow for the Wii. Now, for a lot of big games, when you see a date attached to them, it's the in-store date, and when that day comes, you can go and buy the game. But for smaller games, what you sometimes see is the shipping date, and there's no indication one way or the other what date it represents. So, Joystiq had "3/20 Cooking Mama" on their release schedule for this week. I went to Best Buy and they didn't have it in, and said they'd probably get it in tomorrow, but the guy at BB who isn't Darren (aka Beardo McPonytail) and looks kinda like twelve was super nice and helpful. Then, because sometimes Best Buy and Target and the big box stores don't get smaller releases the day they come out, I went over to GameStop as a last resort and the guy there told me it's actually released tomorrow but I SHOULD DEFINITELY GIVE THEM FIVE DOLLARS TO RESERVE THE GAME, OR MY FAMILY WOULD BE DEVOURED BY AXE RAPISTS [which are like axe murderers but worse]. So, I tell him no thanks because that store has mismanaged the few preorders I have put in there and generally not hired anyone who wasn't a stoned idiot, and he says this to my back as I'm walking out the door: "Well then we won't have a copy for you." And then smirks at the dude who I presume is the manager, or at least some other douche working for a company with marginally ethical business practices. Like I said in the subject, I know it's beyond common knowledge that they suck Master Chief's cyborg balls, but I think it still warrants pointing out the obvious question: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS?"

PS, I miss my laptop, which is busy being poked at by alterna-Beardo at the Mac repair place. :(

http://www.helveticafilm.com/
Even though it's not about weasels.

So . . . distracted . . . must file FAFSA and study for calculus.

Um, I haven't posted since November.  In the meantime, Adrienne and I got engaged (in case you don't read her blog).  This fact has partially contributed to the reason I haven't posted because I was all, "I should probably make a post about that before I tell people about the spelling bee again and / or the return of the Shamrock Shake or some other stupid thing."  But at the same time, it's none of your business (suffice it to say, the proposal involved Playmobil and pajamas, and was awesome).  So, yeah, keep your eyes peeled for that.  Also, Shamrock Shakes are back.