burnumd

Tori! Tory! Tori!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:07:24 GMT

Fact: Tory Foster from Battlestar Galactica is actually Tori Scott from Saved by the Bell, millions of years in the future.

Exhibit A: Tory was brought on to replace a more popular character when contract negotiations went south, just like Tori.

Exhibit B: Everyone got real buddy-buddy with as though Tory had always been around even when she clearly had not, and for the span of about two episodes had to pretend like they were close friends even though we'd never seen her before ever, just like Tori.

Exhibit C: Tory doesn't really get any character development besides doing it with one of the established characters, just like Tori.

Things to look for in the second half of the fourth season of BSG:
1. Tory reveals a fear of earthquakes, just like Tori.
2. Tory will teach us all a valuable lesson about piloting vehicles while drunk, just like Tori.
3. Tory will not be invited to Adama and Roslin's wedding even though THEY ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS.
4. In the final episode of the season, Tori will be killed by Billy, who it turns out is the final Cylon, just like how Jessie and Kelly brutally murdered Tori in "Graduation."

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Passover Bacon

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:35:27 GMT

Passover Bacon
Originally uploaded by burnumduplass

WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS WHO CAME UP WITH THIS?

Egg Scramble Haul: 2008 Edition

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:53:04 GMT

1 Arthur Murray Dance gift certificate
1 Free burrito/burrito bowl/salad/taco order from Chipotle
1 Chocolate Moose small ice cream cone
1 Scotty's $5 off $25
1 Free combo @ Cereal Barn
1 Buy one get one 50% off @ Pita Pit
1 Free Supercuts haircut
1 Tire Barn tire rotation
1 Gross chocolate toffee thing
2 Krackels
2 Mr. Goodbars
2 Hershey's (one milk chocolate, one Special Dark)
2 Things of lip balm from Winters Associates
3 Nestlé eggs (2 caramel, 1 Butterfinger)
4 Dubble Bubble
4 BBC Bagel Nickels
6 Games of bowling at Suburban Lanes
11 $1 off Bloomingfoods meals that expire on the 15th of April.

Totals:
Eggs: 45
Candy: 14
Coupons I will never use: 14

So, not bad. Not great, but it can't be laser tag parties every year.

No, I did not write those books

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:21:23 GMT

So, since I've been handing out my resumé a bunch in an attempt to ~~lure women into sleeping with me~~ get an internship, I decided to think like a prospective employer and Google myself. I'd like to have it known that no less than the Old Gray Lady herself has a profile on me.

P.S. Should any prospective employer read this post, it should be mentioned that I have not misspelled any of the curse words I use.

This Week in Comics

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:36:05 GMT

So, inspired by Kelly's post last week, I decided to write a little bit about what I picked up at Ye Olde Comicke Booke Shopperie.

In the order I read them:
Y: The Last Man #60:
So, the final issue is more of an epilogue (everyone dies) to the story. I liked that we find out a little backstory on many of the characters, and it finally does feel like a closure to what is, on the whole, one of the better monthlies available. Y began as I started reading comics again, and was one of the first things I read that wasn't Transformers or X-Men (which actually stopped me reading comics the last time), and it's sad to see that it's ending, but at the same time, it really needs to end now. That said, Brian Vaughn really does love him some lesbos.

Jack of Fables #19:
This series is growing on me. They're beginning to explore concepts hinted at by the conceit of Fables. The usual problem I have with stories of this sort (Tom Stoppard, I'm looking at you), is that it's usually a big 'ol, "HEY, YOU GUYS!! I KNOW ABOUT ENGLISH LITERATURE!! SRSLY, YOU GUYS!!" and provides these little knowing winks to anyone who has read a book, ever. Fables and Jack of Fables don't really bother with that. Characters from literature show up, you get their name, and we are simply expected either know who they are, not care who they are, or be inspired to go and look up who they are. This book knows its audience and gets more and more things right each month.

Black Summer #5:
First things: the art in Black Summer is incredible and awful. This book seriously benefits from the lavish, gruesome detail it has received. My opinion on the writing of this book is biased by the fact that I subscribe to Warren Ellis' INCREDIBLY PROLIFIC LJ FEED. He's a great writer (like a less crazy, more funny Alan Moore), but yes, I get it: science is both good and bad. The first issue of Black Summer was phenomenal, and the rest have just been okay.

Project Superpowers #0:
Yes, another "Why do people decide to put on spandex and fight evil?" book. This time by Alex Ross. And an issue 0 to boot. It's okay. The conceit lends itself to an ongoing series well, even if it is a bit Pokémon-ish. It's okay, not great. Probably won't read again.

Because the internet needs more promotional memes.

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:38:36 GMT

Stoled from Tavie.

Cuterest little killing machines ever!

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:02:59 GMT

I am pretty sure Hasbro came out with the Robot Heroes line solely for the purpose of taking pictures of the cuteified version of Ravage.

Bexar and Ravage are having a cuteness contest.

EVERYONE wants to pet Ravage. Except for Optimus Prime and Megatron. They're mad because he peed on the rug.

I have no comment on this photo other than to tell you. . .

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:36:05 GMT

The bun is enticing the wiener to jump inside him. Yes.

Scatological Edification, or: Things I Learned About Poop Today

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:07:33 GMT

I tried to play the word "Fece" in an online Scrabble game, hoping against hope it was maybe an actual word. Turns out it isn't. Turns out, "Feces" (or "Faeces") is what is known as a plurale tantum. By the way, the Wikipedia article on feces (and the other article on, specifically, human feces)is entirely too comprehensive.

After the zombie apocalypse, Amazon reviews go thusly:

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:12:36 GMT

As the zombie war winds down and money becomes useful again, our world is inexorably changed. For posterity's sake, here are a few reviews from Amazon.com culled from the days following the power returning:

Corona Clipper Hollow Back #2 Round Point Shovel with Fiberglass Handle #SS 65020

Spotlight Reviews

6 of 7 people found this review helpful:

[4 stars] GREAT PRODUCT, WOULD RECOMMEND

by R. "Regmeister26" Kulick (USA)
::real name::

I love this shovel. It's got great reach, and the fiberglass handle has never broken on me, which is helpful in keeping me from being exposed to the disease. The 14-gauge steel blade goes a great way towards full decapitation of a zombie, and I would have to say my only complaint is that the blade doesn't come pre-sharpened and (as of this writing) finding a pedal-powered sharpener on Amazon is difficult at best. A great product with few drawbacks.

Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions (Dover Thrift Editions) (Paperback)
by Edwin A. Abbott (Author)

Spotlight Reviews

26 of 35 people found this review helpful:

[2 stars] Too short, some nice symbolism.
by "Dr." Aaron Rogers (USA)

Edwin Abbot's political and mathematical satire is an excellent reead. This novel will change the way you view the world. Some people may not grasp the subtle jabs at Victorian society, but if you're capable of picking up on the mind-blowing and revolutionary views of Mr. Abbot, you'll definitely enjoy it. Unfortunately, this edition of the book has only 96 pages, and will not burn long enough to keep you warm even for one night.

Enfield Three Band Percussion Rifle
by Denix

Spotlight Reviews

0 of 2 people found this review helpful:

[0 stars] Butts
by A. "BUTTS!" Butt (USA)
::real name::

BUTT!!!!!!1!!11!

It's that time of year again,

Thu, 31 May 2007 14:20:10 GMT

When the weirdos come out of the woodwork to post comments on year old blog entries to prove that while they're great at spelling, including all of the words necessary to make a sentence, not so much. That's right, it's spelling bee time and, again, it's on like Anqi Dong. The rounds leading up to the finals have been going on yesterday and today, so let's find out where my picks from last year are and rank them based on TOTALLY circumspect evidence:

Tia Thomas: Even though this year's profile picture is a washed out mess, she got profiled on Good Morning America, which means they have a vested interest in seeing her go far. If you know what I'm saying. I'm saying Robin Roberts is going to crack some kneecaps.
Odds: 3:2.

Lina "aquaintance of nutjobs" Bader: This year's profile pic is much clearer than last years, and she appears to have an army of seventh-graders willing to post anonymous comments on my blog, which is a bad sign. I think this is her last eligible year, so she's got that going for her. How about a deal, Bader's Brigade? If Lina Bader makes it to the finals and sniffs her hands Sealfon-style in the first round tonight, I'll take that as a sign that you're actually friends with her and will adjust my rating accordingly.
Current odds: 100,000:1.

Anqi Dong: A lot of the canadian kids got wasted in the fourth round, but the Donger made it through. I'm going to continue to hope that we have a national spelling bee champion from Saskatoon named Anqi Dong for as long as possible.
Odds: 2:1.

2007 Wendy Gueh Memorial Mogwai Award: this lazy-eyed cutie muffin: Rosa Nguyen. Odds someone will feed her after midnight: 5:3.

I can't give out a Crazy-McCuckoopants award just yet. There's a lot of scary looking kids in this year's field. We'll see how it goes.

Courtesy of Lore Sjöberg

Mon, 28 May 2007 01:00:22 GMT

Peeps inside a Milk Chocolate Egg: a review/horrible bedtime story

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:19:44 GMT

So I was buying Easter candy on clearance Monday (like you do), and came across a candy that cried out to me "I'm novel, and I'm 30% off!" Which is definitely enough to get to buy just about anything. Full story with pictures after the cut.

So, like i said, something about this:

is at once abhorrent and intriguing, like some kind of Necronomicon bound not in human flesh, but tasty, tasty candy. It is, as fyreflyblue put it, "fertilized chocolate." Thanks for the mental picture. And if the picture of what appears to be a frightened Peep bursting out of a chocolate eggshell doesn't whet your appetite, maybe the slogan on the top of the box will?

JUST HATCHED! YOUR CANDY CAME DIRECTLY FROM THE CLOACA OF A MARSHMALLOWY MOTHER!! Isn't that appetizing? Very!
Now. On to the actual egg:

Conveniently, these eggs have a flat surface on the bottom to make it stand up. Take that, I.D. advocates! Just Born, Inc: 1, God: 0.

This picture reminds me of something I've seen somewhere else? What could it be? Hmmm? So, do Peeps have egg teeth?

Awww, there's our little fertilized chocolate! For the record, the Peep is super stale, which makes it that much better. It's like they pre-age your Peep for you!

The fate of all Peeps is, of course, having your head bitten off.

The Peeps leave an odd residue of what can only be described as "sugary skin-flake" dust on the inside of the shell. Well, that about wraps up this rev-- . . . Oh. Um. Hi.

It was like that when I got here. I swear! No, please don't . . .

AUUUUUGGGGGHH!!

Just because it is not actually a recognized disease does not mean I should not get huge benefits.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:30:19 GMT

I feel the need to apologize to anyone I have ever played any game with, ever.

Things I want...

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 23:28:44 GMT

Um, this? Badly. Because hamster balls are awesome, and someone needs to stage a live-action Super Monkey Ball extravaganza.

I know GameStop bashing is passe

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 02:02:48 GMT

Cooking Mama comes out tomorrow for the Wii. Now, for a lot of big games, when you see a date attached to them, it's the in-store date, and when that day comes, you can go and buy the game. But for smaller games, what you sometimes see is the shipping date, and there's no indication one way or the other what date it represents. So, Joystiq had "3/20 Cooking Mama" on their release schedule for this week. I went to Best Buy and they didn't have it in, and said they'd probably get it in tomorrow, but the guy at BB who isn't Darren (aka Beardo McPonytail) and looks kinda like twelve was super nice and helpful. Then, because sometimes Best Buy and Target and the big box stores don't get smaller releases the day they come out, I went over to GameStop as a last resort and the guy there told me it's actually released tomorrow but I SHOULD DEFINITELY GIVE THEM FIVE DOLLARS TO RESERVE THE GAME, OR MY FAMILY WOULD BE DEVOURED BY AXE RAPISTS [which are like axe murderers but worse]. So, I tell him no thanks because that store has mismanaged the few preorders I have put in there and generally not hired anyone who wasn't a stoned idiot, and he says this to my back as I'm walking out the door: "Well then we won't have a copy for you." And then smirks at the dude who I presume is the manager, or at least some other douche working for a company with marginally ethical business practices. Like I said in the subject, I know it's beyond common knowledge that they suck Master Chief's cyborg balls, but I think it still warrants pointing out the obvious question: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS?"

PS, I miss my laptop, which is busy being poked at by alterna-Beardo at the Mac repair place. :(

Is it wrong that I TOTALLY want to see this movie?

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 02:01:57 GMT

http://www.helveticafilm.com/
Even though it's not about weasels.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 02:33:52 GMT

So . . . distracted . . . must file FAFSA and study for calculus.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 21:57:05 GMT

Um, I haven't posted since November. In the meantime, Adrienne and I got engaged (in case you don't read her blog). This fact has partially contributed to the reason I haven't posted because I was all, "I should probably make a post about that before I tell people about the spelling bee again and / or the return of the Shamrock Shake or some other stupid thing." But at the same time, it's none of your business (suffice it to say, the proposal involved Playmobil and pajamas, and was awesome). So, yeah, keep your eyes peeled for that. Also, Shamrock Shakes are back.

In which I am unreasonably harsh to a middle schooler...

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 21:29:06 GMT

So, the real question is not, "Why are spelling bee contestants commenting on my blog?" It's "Spelling bee contestants have friends?" Although, were I friends with a spelling bee contestant ::ahem, bsquaredsf::, I would probably want to be anonymous, too.

Feeling guilty...

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:35:03 GMT

... for picking up a newspaper off the floor of a public restroom to read the comics. Is that a bad thing?

Why I'm a jerk

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 21:44:02 GMT

So, I think I accidentally made fun of a clueless undergrad the other day. I was in one of the little breakfast nooks that exist inexplicably in Myers reading the paper when this girl walks by and asks if there's a computer lab in the building. I tell her "No, but there are terminals in the atrium of Jordan right next door." She then asks what the easiest way to get to Jordan hall is, and I'm all, "Well, the easiest way is to walk outside and go to the building next door." Which is a totally jerky thing to say . . . unless you are aware of the tunnel in the basement from Myers to Jordan. Because the tunnel is more direct, but it's difficult to find if you don't know your way around either building, and to get to the atrium from where the tunnel spits you out in Jordan is difficult to explain because you are dumped into a featureless hallway full of scary science stuff. So if you know it's there it might seem reasonable to, without thinking, say that the easy way between two buildings right next to each other is to walk from one building to the other.

Man, Target's gone down the shitter (aka, I hope you like juvenile humor!)

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 04:21:59 GMT

I love walking through Target. It's so clean and full of wonderful things to buy and-- hey, what's that sign say?

Surely, Target isn't suggesting I . . . No, certainly not. What could possibly explain this alliterative abstruse admonition?

Well. Okay, I guess that's alright then.

Some of you guys are jerkholes...

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 22:22:45 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
burnumd goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as guy with no socks.
3x1minus1 tricks you! You get a wet rag.
adrienneee tricks you! You get a dead frog.
amysusanne gives you 16 teal vanilla-flavoured gummy bats.
ashfault76 tricks you! You get a wet rag.
bsquaredsf gives you 2 light green raspberry-flavoured wafers.
dephubiac gives you 9 blue tropical-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
famousthecat gives you 5 green tropical-flavoured gummy worms.
fyreflyblue gives you 12 red cinnamon-flavoured nuggets.
gagman385 gives you 8 blue lime-flavoured jawbreakers.
katyissmrt tricks you! You get a wad of paper.
burnumd ends up with 52 pieces of candy, a wet rag, a dead frog, a wet rag, and a wad of paper.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:26:56 GMT

BEXAR LOVES!
Posted by: burnumd on Buzznet

... Coffee.