burnumd

When the weirdos come out of the woodwork to post comments on year old blog entries to prove that while they're great at spelling, including all of the words necessary to make a sentence, not so much.   That's right, it's spelling bee time and, again, it's on like Anqi Dong.  The rounds leading up to the finals have been going on yesterday and today, so let's find out where my picks from last year are and rank them based on TOTALLY circumspect evidence:

Tia Thomas: Even though this year's profile picture is a washed out mess, she got profiled on Good Morning America, which means they have a vested interest in seeing her go far.  If you know what I'm saying.  I'm saying Robin Roberts is going to crack some kneecaps.
Odds: 3:2.

Lina "aquaintance of nutjobs" Bader: This year's profile pic is much clearer than last years, and she appears to have an army of seventh-graders willing to post anonymous comments on my blog, which is a bad sign.  I think this is her last eligible year, so she's got that going for her.  How about a deal, Bader's Brigade?  If Lina Bader makes it to the finals and sniffs her hands Sealfon-style in the first round tonight, I'll take that as a sign that you're actually friends with her and will adjust my rating accordingly.
Current odds: 100,000:1.

Anqi Dong: A lot of the canadian kids got wasted in the fourth round, but the Donger made it through.  I'm going to continue to hope that we have a national spelling bee champion from Saskatoon named Anqi Dong for as long as possible.
Odds: 2:1.

2007 Wendy Gueh Memorial Mogwai Award: this lazy-eyed cutie muffin: Rosa Nguyen.  Odds someone will feed her after midnight: 5:3.

I can't give out a Crazy-McCuckoopants award just yet.  There's a lot of scary looking kids in this year's field.  We'll see how it goes.

So, the real question is not, "Why are spelling bee contestants commenting on my blog?"  It's "Spelling bee contestants have friends?"  Although, were I friends with a spelling bee contestant ::ahem, bsquaredsf::, I would probably want to be anonymous, too.

So, none of my picks made it to the finals. ::tear:: And now here's who's left: The Finalists.
Having watched ESPN's coverage this afternoon, my new favorite cuckoopants finalist is this kid who knows, at the age of 11, WHAT FIELD OF MEDICINE HE WANTS TO SPECIALIZE IN.  Although,  Fundie McBigteeth has the arm spelling thing going on. Other notable finalists:
Jocky McFirstout
Most likely to try to convert the brown kids
Most likely to win and have his name misspelled in his local paper.

As I'm sure you all know, the 2006 Scripps Spelling Bee airs tonight at 8PM on ABC.

I know you turn to me for reliable advice about who to bet on root for, so here are my picks.

Tia Thomas, #12: She's home schooled, but she's also a blonde girl and she's from California, so I'm thinking her home schooling might be more of the hippie variety than the cram school variety. Odds: 9:1
EDIT: Thomas goes out in round 6 to "theremin"

Lina Bader, #218: From a small town in the mid-atlantic, check.  Not quite pretty enough to be a popular kid, check.  Spelled lots of sciencey words correctly, check.  Odds 5:2.
EDIT: Bader goes out in round 5 to "ichneumon"

Anqi Dong, #33: This kid has it all, he's not caucasian, he's from Canada, and his GODDAMN NAME IS ANQI DONG. With a name like that, if he doesn't win, he'll never have any conciliatory reasons to stop weeping softly into his pillow every morning. The one strike against him is he's gotten some pretty easy words so far. Dinosaur words are a cinch, and "decadence?" Come on. Still, his name is Anqi Dong. Odds: 2:1
EDIT: Dong is out in round 5 to "nepenthe"  Have fun with an unfulfilled life, Dong.  You cost me $500.

My special award for The 2006 Rebecca Sealfon Memorial Cuckoo McCrazypants goes to this kid: Matthew Evans, #153. Southern spellers tend to get all up in the pronouncer's face. And he's got the bowl cut going for him, plus a turtleneck in his profile pic. Look for lots of alternate pronunciation questions as well as a lot of microphone adjusting. Odds of a shooting spree following the bee: 14:3. Honorable mention goes to this kid: John Tamplin, #99.  The turtleneck put Evans over the top.
Also, what's up with giving the kid from Canada "Toque." The hell? This thing is rigged.

Tonight, it's on like Anqi Dong.

PS, What happened to Howard, Scripps? Did you guys break up or what?